Talent things of my Computer Science lecture

Of cheap puns and other things

If I work at a Titan showroom,
Would you keep a watch on me?

If I took somebody's job at a Titan showroom,
I would feel so second hand!

If a Titan showroom were to catch fire,
It would probably be extinguished just on time.

Poetry

This poetry thing,
I've got it quite figured out,
I've learned it is completely bad,
to try and rhyme out with out.
Oh shit.
I just did it.
See how well that rhymed?
Shit, now what do I rhyme with rhymed?
Maybe mimed or limed.
Wait, what the hell is limed?
This poem is not working out to be good.
Like it should.
See how I did that rhyming thing?
If I was a bird, I would have wing.
I shall now, put this poem to rest.
I think we all learned,
that Abhishek's poetry is best-est.

Class

The bell has ringed,
The bird is winged.
Teacher of Physics is sitting in class,
Counting every head of every arse.
People are talking.
Teacher starts walking.
Everyone hurriedly stops everything non-physics.
Teacher catches victim with smack of her lips.
"You boy, reading naughty magazine?"
*surprised*"Me, Miss? I am clean!"
"You liar boy! I sawed it."
*still surprised*"I didn't read any naughty shit!"
"Shit, you say? Come Principal."
"No Miss. No Miss. I am very simple."
Two boys run out while Teacher is not looking,
Everyone gasps and Teacher smells something fishy cooking.
"Who just runned out?" she asks with rage.
Her hair turning white, with anger, not age.
"Aila!" a boy screams, pointing at the door,
Another, "Shits! Its Principal! Looking all sore."
"We're all dead. Tell Mummy-daddy you love them,
Because today we die our deaths and go to Heaven."

On Killing a person

It takes quite a lot to kill somebody,
Not a simple jab of your silver dagger will do it.
No, not even your red kitchen knife.
You have to dig the knife in,
simultaneously banging the head with a pan.
For the body has grown,
with sickness and health,
with much pooing and peeing,
Excreting, secreting, discreetly creating
a whole world of bodily things and non-bodily things.
So now you know,
to kill someone, keep the tawa at hand,
Cut the wrist, stab the stomach,
bang the head, kick the groin.
Then poke the body to see if it moves.
If it does, repeat sequence no. 1.
If it doesn't, you still have much work left.
Dispose the body, clear the evidence,
Clean the kitchen, wipe the blood off the knife and tawa.
If body doesn't fit in "kachra dabba", try plastic bags.
If not, go put it in the river.
Ganga, if body was sinful.
Any river will do if body was not sinful.
Then come home, smile satisfactorily,
and drink your first glass of water.
First glass of water as a murderer.


{Disclaimer: After getting my ass kicked for not attending lectures in college, I had to start attending my lectures. And I had no clue what people did while in class. And I was REALLY bored. So I figured I would write these nice-nice poems. =]}